So I went through and threw out all religious icons – from Buddha to Isis to Zeus – all lovely statues and figurines, but they were anchoring hindering energies that were stopping me from progressing in life. Little did I know, this was simply stage one of my rebirth.
The second stage came about when I really began to question my life purpose. A while ago, I did a Life Purpose Course and –
*Spoilers if you are doing this, or a similar course*
It was the most wankified waste of time I have ever experienced. Unsurprisingly, it was four 25 minute videos of the host going on about ways to clear the way, ‘being open’ and their journey of finding their purpose. Now, I am sure many would find this inspirational with the whole ‘Oh, if they can do it, so can I’ thing resounding in their mind. I find this to be rubbish. I do such a course to find out how I can do this, not to hear about how the host has done it. But, what really topped it off for me, was the last video where it was summed up with something along the lines of: ‘You already are doing your life purpose. It is something you do naturally and your angels will guide you to do so.’ It was at that point I nearly threw my phone across the room because I had wasted my time, energy and money on something that could have been summed up in a Facebook post – not even a short book, but a Facebook post. Plus it was all about the angels, as it is with just about any spiritual endeavour nowadays.
So, I began questioning my purpose as whenever I asked my partner, who I consider to be very switched on and connected to the other realms for guidance, kept on seeing me working with crystals. This was something I seemed to have an affinity with, but I constantly argued that it was ‘nurture’ rather than ‘nature’. I took up working with crystals at a young age as I worked with shaping crystals to make jewellery in a process known as ‘lapidary’. It seemed that my family pushed me into this to get pieces for themselves out of it and, who can blame them, when I focused on the craft, I was brilliant at it. This led to me learning about, and becoming quite knowledgeable about the crystals, both geologically and metaphysically.
Again, learned, not a natural thing. Yes it was fun and I helped a lot of clients over the years through my crystal healing, but it just wasn’t quite fulfilling me. The same came about for the divination – both tarot and oracle – by all means, I could communicate with the other realms to pass information onto others, but it just wasn’t quite cutting it. It was at this point, cue stage three, I decided to actively put myself through a rebirth. We had, the whole time on our iPod, a CD called ‘Inner Alchemy: Rebirth’ of which you can be found here.
This is an amazing meditation, of which, I can honestly say, changed my life. It has literally given me a clean slate of metaphysical energy after doing the meditation five times in a row. I will admit, it was not till the fourth time that I was able to stay awake during the whole thing, but I know that my subconscious was doing things that my conscious mind simply could not handle, so I was okay with that. One thing I will definitely say that I have learned about the rebirth journey, is to take your time – it won’t be an instant thing – and allow your subconscious mind to take the lead in this process when it wants to – sometimes our human mind is like the demanding energy that claims to know better when it simply does not.
An amazing effect of the rebirth process, which was something I most certainly did not expect, was that of my mind becoming almost blank of any learned crystal information. Now this is coming from someone who practically devoured any crystal healing books I could get my hands on – especially the Crystal Bible Series by Judy Hall. I remember only bits and pieces of crystal healing information, most of which I can connect with the higher realms through meditation to bring forward and, quite bizarrely, this is not much at all. I still have the books of course, so whenever I am writing crystal information for mine and my partner’s new age shop, Ravens Divine, I am always consulting the books for help – something of which I highly recommend.
Another side effect of this, as it turns out, was that it was revealed to me, and my partner, that there was an entity that had slowly worked its way into my energy so much that it was like a Strangler Fig of which was not only draining me of energy, but it was also pushing me to do what it wanted. I won’t write the name of this entity as doing so in this context would allow it to enter my space again and might even corrupt this website and its content by influencing things the way it wants it. What my partner was seeing around me, in the form of a giant crystal, was this entity literally encasing me in its desired energy and design – so when I worked with crystals, it fed off of me as I opened up to the crystal healing energy when seeing clients and using crystals in general. Good news is, the rebirth process really shook it off and allowed me to release it from my energy field. However, this does not stop it from trying to butt in when I am meditating as it tries to convince me that I cannot function without it – the egotistical twat that it is.
Ultimately though, I am now an energetic blank slate and have no idea where I am going from here. Though, one thing I do know, is that Facets Of Shadow will, in a sense, be a chronicle of my journey and thoughts from here. I do hope that you find some help from my experiences and, if you do choose to go through a rebirth journey, feel free to reach out and say hi so we can chat about it, or even leave a comment below. Who knows? Maybe your experiences will help others too.