My New Beginning Through Rebirth

My New Beginning Through Rebirth

I never gave much credibility to the concept of ‘rebirth’. To me it was a somewhat convoluted term for releasing the past and moving forward in life, something of which I felt I had done many times in life. Things such as moving towns, leaving jobs, leaving people who I considered to be close friends behind, escaping from a rather sinister group of ‘spiritual people’ (*cough* cult *cough*) and other such things. 

Of course, the classic release I have focused on over the years is the energetic release during times like Navratri where I would invoke the Hindu Goddess Durga during her sacred festival to release Karma and provide a real oomph of energy in me to overcome the ‘evils’ in my life – not that I have necessarily thought of anything as evil, I simply focused on what no longer served me as being that which needed to be released from my energy field and physical life. This, to me at least, was a form of rebirth, though, it would seem, that this was not enough. 

People, places and things really played a large part of this for me, but, unfortunately, this would often leave a gap that would be filled with various spiritual curiosities. I would release an entity like that of a deity, angel, guide or whatever else you want to call them, and, much like taking water from a seemingly infinite flowing river, something would flow in and take its place. Me being me, I would accept this as ‘Divine Flow’ and allow this to take place without questioning it – even to the point of going back to and actively worshipping at a local Anglican Cathedral in my current town of residence. (I will discuss this experience in later reflections – one of which can be found here

Even when I was in a holy place, like this Cathedral, and the energy as well as the physical building is a sight to behold, I will admit that, I felt myself questioning things and wondering: ‘Is there something more?’ Now, with things the way they were, as I reflect on this, it does not surprise me that whenever I asked this I got a niggling that there was indeed something more, followed by a booming energy of ‘That’s just your ego talking. A crystal healer and divination specialist is what you are. You are following your purpose – stop questioning it.’ As often happens when you question the status quo. This turned out to be a rather nasty entity that was quite literally siphoning off my energy as I worked – yes, there are beings that do this as not all so-called ‘divine beings’ are truly divine. But, I digress.

I finally cracked it and decided to clear out things that were hindering my journey. Little did I know that the many statues and figurines of various entities were stopping me from progressing. It was like the scene from the movie ‘Flying High (Airplane)’ Where the pilot is trying to get an important meeting and he is constantly being harassed by all of the religious groups trying to push their points of view. 

So I went through and threw out all religious icons – from Buddha to Isis to Zeus – all lovely statues and figurines, but they were anchoring hindering energies that were stopping me from progressing in life. Little did I know, this was simply stage one of my rebirth.

The second stage came about when I really began to question my life purpose. A while ago, I did a Life Purpose Course and – 

*Spoilers if you are doing this, or a similar course*

It was the most wankified waste of time I have ever experienced. Unsurprisingly, it was four 25 minute videos of the host going on about ways to clear the way, ‘being open’ and their journey of finding their purpose. Now, I am sure many would find this inspirational with the whole ‘Oh, if they can do it, so can I’ thing resounding in their mind. I find this to be rubbish. I do such a course to find out how I can do this, not to hear about how the host has done it. But, what really topped it off for me, was the last video where it was summed up with something along the lines of: ‘You already are doing your life purpose. It is something you do naturally and your angels will guide you to do so.’ It was at that point I nearly threw my phone across the room because I had wasted my time, energy and money on something that could have been summed up in a Facebook post – not even a short book, but a Facebook post. Plus it was all about the angels, as it is with just about any spiritual endeavour nowadays. 

*End Spoilers*

So, I began questioning my purpose as whenever I asked my partner, who I consider to be very switched on and connected to the other realms for guidance, kept on seeing me working with crystals. This was something I seemed to have an affinity with, but I constantly argued that it was ‘nurture’ rather than ‘nature’. I took up working with crystals at a young age as I worked with shaping crystals to make jewellery in a process known as ‘lapidary’. It seemed that my family pushed me into this to get pieces for themselves out of it and, who can blame them, when I focused on the craft, I was brilliant at it. This led to me learning about, and becoming quite knowledgeable about the crystals, both geologically and metaphysically. 

Again, learned, not a natural thing. Yes it was fun and I helped a lot of clients over the years through my crystal healing, but it just wasn’t quite fulfilling me. The same came about for the divination – both tarot and oracle – by all means, I could communicate with the other realms to pass information onto others, but it just wasn’t quite cutting it. It was at this point, cue stage three, I decided to actively put myself through a rebirth. We had, the whole time on our iPod, a CD called ‘Inner Alchemy: Rebirth’ of which you can be found here

This is an amazing meditation, of which, I can honestly say, changed my life. It has literally given me a clean slate of metaphysical energy after doing the meditation five times in a row. I will admit, it was not till the fourth time that I was able to stay awake during the whole thing, but I know that my subconscious was doing things that my conscious mind simply could not handle, so I was okay with that. One thing I will definitely say that I have learned about the rebirth journey, is to take your time – it won’t be an instant thing – and allow your subconscious mind to take the lead in this process when it wants to – sometimes our human mind is like the demanding energy that claims to know better when it simply does not. 

An amazing effect of the rebirth process, which was something I most certainly did not expect, was that of my mind becoming almost blank of any learned crystal information. Now this is coming from someone who practically devoured any crystal healing books I could get my hands on – especially the Crystal Bible Series by Judy Hall. I remember only bits and pieces of crystal healing information, most of which I can connect with the higher realms through meditation to bring forward and, quite bizarrely, this is not much at all. I still have the books of course, so whenever I am writing crystal information for mine and my partner’s new age shop, Hecate’s Divine GIfts, I am always consulting the books for help – something of which I highly recommend.

Another side effect of this, as it turns out, was that it was revealed to me, and my partner, that there was an entity that had slowly worked its way into my energy so much that it was like a Strangler Fig of which was not only draining me of energy, but it was also pushing me to do what it wanted. I won’t write the name of this entity as doing so in this context would allow it to enter my space again and might even corrupt this website and its content by influencing things the way it wants it. What my partner was seeing around me, in the form of a giant crystal, was this entity literally encasing me in its desired energy and design – so when I worked with crystals, it fed off of me as I opened up to the crystal healing energy when seeing clients and using crystals in general. Good news is, the rebirth process really shook it off and allowed me to release it from my energy field. However, this does not stop it from trying to butt in when I am meditating as it tries to convince me that I cannot function without it – the egotistical twat that it is.

Ultimately though, I am now an energetic blank slate and have no idea where I am going from here. Though, one thing I do know, is that Facets Of Shadow will, in a sense, be a chronicle of my journey and thoughts from here. I do hope that you find some help from my experiences and, if you do choose to go through a rebirth journey, feel free to reach out and say hi so we can chat about it, or even leave a comment below. Who knows? Maybe your experiences will help others too.

Safe travels,

Joshua Sidgwick

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